Friday, January 24, 2014


I find myself concerned about the future of the Old Hyde Park District in Kansas City.  The evidence pictured above, found in the driveway of our building, suggests an unsavory element on the rise.  Playrights seem to be moving into the neighborhood.  

Further scrutiny, including handwriting analysis, shows that the  playright who lost this note is both young, and out of ideas.  The only thing harder on property values than a playright insurgence is a blocked teenaged playright insurgence.  This has generational implications. When these young people learn to express themselves, ours will be a bona fide mixed neighborhood.  The first casualty? Psychological security.

Another concern: church people who take street parking without greeting neighbors, even though the church's website claims that serving the neighborhood is a core mission. Is there no Biblical mandate for saying "hi" to people you have come to help?  Some of these guys hustling to their cars, good book in hand, look like they have to tear ass back home to poop.  I've seen more neighborhood outreach in the grill-flashing grin of a scowling teenager who can't keep up his front because our dog is so damn cute.  That is why some people in the neighborhood have taken to calling him Killer.


Friends have said to me, "Jeez, Dan, you don't need drugs."  I guess this is true.  I've never messed around with drugs.  My idea of a drug test is being on drugs. On Fridays I like to come up 31st and take a right on Main, and stop off at Carwash 103, to have my mind psychedelicized.  This photo series shows that real life, as put together by weird human beings and all the spiritual and material and engineering resources at our disposal, is weirder than anything drugs can help you see.

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